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Expert: Parents should watch for signs of anxiety, depression as students return to classroom

Austin American-Statesman - 9/16/2021

It took time for students to adjust to online learning. It'll also take them time to adapt to learning in classrooms, according to expert on education counseling who is advising parents to be on the lookout for signs of anxiety and depression in their kids.

Classrooms provide a safe space for students to be themselves and be surrounded by others their age, said Rebecca Farrell, the youth and family program coordinator for the Central Texas chapter of the National Alliance on Mental Illness. The organization is the largest grassroots mental health group in the nation, and the Central Texas chapter has done several programs in Bastrop County.

"The school classroom environment allows for basic physical contact," Farrell said. "It allows peers to be able to communicate in their own language and understand each other through eye contact and touching. And it also allows them to not focus so much in their head."

After spending a year doing online learning as schools closed down due to the COVID-19 pandemic, students who have returned to their campuses are having to relearn how to interact with one another, and some may get discouraged by not being able to seamlessly go back to in-person learning.

Learning from home for a year deprived students from the emotional validation they were accustomed to getting from going to school, Farrell said, which affected their neurological ability to regulate their emotions.

And though being back in school will benefit students' wellbeing in the long term, the adjustment period may be difficult for them and trigger unhealthy thoughts, she said.

"And so, if they're back in school, there's anxiety and depression fostered by several types of environmental factors and social factors, such as, 'Do I wear a mask? Do I not wear a mask?'" Farrell said. "'Am I going to catch one of the variants of COVID? Am I going to give it to somebody? Am I able to concentrate back in the school classroom?'"

The stress the pandemic placed on students is overlapping with the pressure they already face during their years in schooling, which is the time when kids are developing their identities, Farrell said.

"They're navigating who they are," she said. "It's a very normal processes of developing the answer to, 'Who am I?'"

The key to supporting students through this transition, Farrell said, is fostering a foundation of emotional validation in the household because that's what they missed out on while learning from home.

She suggests parents set about half an hour a day after their kids come home from school to talk about anything that isn't school related, followed by another half hour to discuss school — which she likes to call a "happy hour."

"It's really time for them to unwind and just be able to escape from the school day," Farrell said. "It's quality time with one another to get to know each other. Maybe have date nights or just regular conversations in which whatever the child shares with their parent or guardian will have no consequences."

This should be one-on-one time without distractions or technology that focuses on the child's interests. She also encourages parents to observe their child's gestures.

According to research by Albert Mehrabian, a psychology professor at the University of California in Los Angeles, 7% of a message's meaning is conveyed through words. Non-verbal communication, such as a teacher's tone of voice and hand movements, account for 93% of how the students learn.

"Parents should be calm and actively listen to their child and pay attention to the nonverbal language of their child. And to respond with love and acceptance and empathy," Farrell said.

Parents should also be prepared for anything their child brings up, even for difficult conversations about anxiety or depression. Being accepting of their feelings helps foster a relationship built on trust.

"Understand that your child has been brave about sharing that information with you about what he or she is experiencing, thinking or feeling," Farrell said. "It's about giving that space, that trusting space for the child to be able to come to the parent."

To help their children, however, parents must first be in a good place themselves, Farrell said.

"What children are going through may be a mirror reflection of what their parents or guardians are going through," she said. "So, adults really have to take care of themselves so that they can take care of their own children ... Children mimic the behaviors they see in their parents."

She added that it's OK for parents to admit to their children when they don't have answers to questions.

"They should give themselves permission to not know the answers for their children, and let them know they can collaborate together to find answers," Farrell said.

"The important thing is to have hope and reassurance ... it's about saying 'We can find answers together, we're going to address this together. Help me understand. I want to keep you safe. I love you, I'm here for you,'" she said.

Teachers also play a significant role in promoting good mental health practices to their students, and like parents, they should be aware of the signs that a child isn't doing well.

"We want them to excel academically, we don't want to enable negative behaviors," Farrell said. "We want to empower our students to be the best that they can be and to utilize their strengths."

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